Total Drama Parody
by SummerEliza
Summary: Everyone's gone crazy at the Playa De Losers! Izzy's has a theory about the problem and she's breaking the fourth wall along the way. This a parody of almost all things TDI. It's not a serious story. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island or any of the characters.

Just so you all know, I am not AT ALL serious with this story. I'm making fun of multiple things here. Please don't read this looking for a serious story.

* * *

"Once upon a time, in the land of the losers," Izzy narrated excitedly. She bounced up and down and waved her arms in the air expressively. "A bunch of kids were stuck together on a b e a YUUUtiful resort. And then-"

"Izzy who are you talking to now? I thought your friend Bob was eaten by Owen yesterday," a sarcastic voiced called from behind her.

"Noah, what are you talking about?" Izzy asked sweetly. "Bob wasn't real. That's why he was called an _imaginary_ friend."

Noah hit his face in frustration. "After _weeks_ of her insisting that he was real," he muttered.

"Anyway," Izzy said. "I'm going to show you how amazingly cool my friends here are!" She giggled maniacally and rubbed her hands together.

"Once again, who are you talking to?" Noah asked.

"The readers, of course!" Izzy yelled triumphantly, pointing a finger at the ceiling as she struck a pose. Why exactly she yelled triumphantly and struck a pose, we will never know.

"Yep. She's gotten even loopier," Noah commented. He opened his book again and returned to reading.

"Ah-ha!" Izzy said, swiveling around. "Our first victims!" She stabbed a finger towards an elevator behind her. The door was opening and Courtney and Duncan stepped out.

"I wuv you!" Duncan said, smiling at Courtney.

"I wuv you more!" Courtney replied, looking up at him with a dewey-eyed expression.

"No, I wuv you more!" Duncan argued gently.

"But I wuv you most!" Courtney said happily.

"I wuv you!" Duncan said, starting it again. He suddenly crossed his arms and tried to look mean. "Oh, but I'm a tough delinquent! I'm really cool!" He put his arm behind him and tried to lean against the wall. Instead, his arm missed the wall and he fell sideways.

"Oh!" Courtney squealed. "Are you okay, Dunky?" Suddenly her expression changed to an angry one. "But I don't like you! Remember that! I'm not concerned. Nope. I'm not. I would never like a delinquent like you." She shook her head, as if trying to convince herself.

"Could you help me up?" Duncan asked, groaning.

"Ahhh!" Courtney screamed. She kicked him in the balls and ran away.

Noah's jaw dropped. "What's with them?" he asked Izzy when he was finally coherent again.

"Well, their fantards took over their brains," Izzy said seriously.

"I should have known better than to ask you," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"That's what I get for telling all those tall tales, readers," Izzy said, sighing. She smiled, perking up. "Hey Noah! Let's go see some other people!" Before he could protest, she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down the hallway.

* * *

"Our second victim!" Izzy shrieked, pointing at Cody.

Cody jumped, slightly surprised by the red-headed girl who suddenly appeared in front of him screaming. Okay, he was a bit more than slightly surprised.

"Hi, Cody!" Izzy chirped. "You say hi too Noah!"

Noah blushed and looked down. "H-hi Cody."

Cody blushed even more than Noah, and a little steam came out of the top of his head. "Hey, Noah. Eheheheh."

Noah stared at Cody seriously. "I love you."

"I love you too!" Cody said, a look of relief crossing his face. The two leaped towards each other and stared to make out.

"Ooooh," Izzy said. "Sexy. Their brains must have been taken over too." She skipped away happily as Noah and Cody got closer and closer to third base…..

* * *

"Hi, Eva!" Izzy said happily. "Why are you throttling Ezekiel?"

Eva was indeed throttling the hapless prairie boy. She turned to Izzy, who was smiling at Ezekiel.

"_My Zeke looks so cute all of a sudden! Wait, since when do I call him that?" Izzy thought. "Oh, darn. Must be those stupid fantards again. But I didn't think there were that many fantards for us….. Maybe my theory was wrong."_

"Whaddaya want?" Eva growled threateningly.

"Hmm?" Izzy asked, distracted by Ezekiel.

"Go away!"

"Why should I?" Izzy asked, suddenly obstinate because of Eva's harsh tone.

"Go away!" Eva repeated.

"Why should I?" Izzy countered.

"Grrr!" Eva yelled, dropping Ezekiel. "I'm Eva and I'm scary! Run like the frightened little bunnies you are!"

"I think you've got me confused with DJ," Izzy said calmly. "You're not that tough. But I didn't think you had fantards either…. Or fans at all." Eva looked at Izzy, confused because the girl wasn't running away in terror. "Oh, I'll be taking Zekey-poo, okay?" Izzy hoisted Ezekiel onto her back and walked away from the still-stunned Eva.

* * *

Izzy stared at Gwen through the bushes. Well, actually the so-called "bushes" was a large plastic plant in the lobby. Gwen was lounging on the couch and Trent was serenading her with his guitar.

_I love you_

_I love you_

_Yes, I still love you_

_I love you_

_I love you_

"Original lyrics, eh?" Izzy commented to the unconscious Ezekiel.

"I wuuuv you," Duncan crooned as he walked into the lobby.

Courtney followed close behind him. "I wuuuuv you too!"

Suddenly Duncan and Gwen caught sight of each other and you could practically see sparks. Duncan fell down on one knee. "I love you! Gwen, do you love me?"

"WHAT?" Courtney shrieked.

"Like sands through the hourglass," Izzy said dramatically. "So are the days of our lives." **(4)**

Trent's face fell in sadness and he started to strum on him guitar.

_Please don't leave me_

_Please don't leave me_

_I always say how I don't need you _

_But it's always gonna come right back to this_

_Please, don't leave me_

"Ugh," Gwen said, rolling her eyes at him. "I like Duncan more. Go away. You're creepy anyway."

"Yes!" Duncan cheered, pumping his fist in the air.

Trent picked up his guitar and walked away slowly, hanging his head.

_Friends we've been for so long_

_Now true colors are showing_

_Makes me want to cry, oh yes it does_

'_Cause I had to say goodbye_

_By now I should know_

_That in time things must change_

_So it shouldn't be so bad_

_So why do I feel so sad_

"Does he ever stop singing?" Courtney asked the room.

"Not really," Gwen said, sighing. "He'll probably be singing ballads and sad songs for the next few weeks."

"Why are you talking to me?" Courtney asked angrily. "I've got to go find a lamp post. I'll be back." She stalked off to find a lamp post to bash Gwen over the head with.

"Hmm, maybe we should get out of here?" Duncan suggested.

"What a good idea!" Gwen said, in a very Mary-Sue fashion.

"Hmmm, I've come up with a new theory!" Izzy announced to the room. Of course, nobody was listening, as Ezekiel was unconscious. "I think the fanfiction authors have taken over their bodies! Of course, there are more bad fanfics for them than good……."

* * *

A/N:

Jokes-

**(1)**- DxC Fantards. Well, don't you love how Duncan and Courtney lose all personality when they fall in love? And then they suddenly have short bursts of personality. Heehee...

**(2)**- Noco- Well, I'm making fun of the gratuitous xxx that happens with those stories. I mean, I'm also poking fun at the lack of development in their relationship in some stories.

**(3)**- Gotta love scary Eva. I just think I'm being silly with this one. I mean, she does sometimes lack personality, I guess. :)

**(4)**- This is the line from the beginning of the soap, The Days of Our Lives. I've never seen it, so I had to look it up so I could make Izzy quote a line from it.

**(5)**- And of course, I couldn't forget the DxG fantards. Personally, I can't stand this couple. I liked it a little before TDA tried to use it. It's just stupid now.

**(6)**- Trent's singing all the time, of course! I really don't like stories that are mainly song lyrics. It really bothers me for some reason.

**(7)**- Last joke! Courtney and the lamp post thing, of course!

Well, I might have forgotten to put some on here, but these are the main ones. I hope you guys caught all of them as you read them!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. No TDI, no TDA, no TDM. *sigh*

This chapter is dedicated to **CamperThirteen**, who came up with the idea.

* * *

Izzy propped herself up into a sitting position. "Well, this is funny. I could have sworn that a second ago, I was talking to Zekey. So now, where the hell am I? Did aliens kidnap my brains to use as mass produced food for zombies? Oh no! Call the plants!"

Izzy continued to ramble on to herself in this manner for quite some time, so we're going to skip to the part where she actually does something that makes a teensy iota of sense.

Izzy stopped talking to herself and stood up, causing the story to finally progress. She surveyed the area as any smart psychotic teenager that had escaped from the police many a time would. She was standing in the middle of a street with identical white houses on either side of it. The house directly in front of her had a moving truck parked outside. She saw a guy with a very familiar green Mohawk open the front door.

"I'm leaving!" Duncan yelled behind him.

"Hmmm," Izzy thought out loud. She rubbed her chin dramatically. "Methinks something pecuuuuliar is going on around heres. Izzy needs a secret identity to get to the bottom of it!" She started to hum the Jeopardy theme while tapping her chin, lost in thought. "Ah-HA!" she yelled, pointing her finger in the air. "Got it. Agent Double Oh Cake is on the case!" She quickly assumed the alternate identity and darted down the street, singing the Mission Impossible theme while tailing Duncan.

Meanwhile, Courtney stepped out of the house across the street from Duncan's and stared at the redheaded girl sneaking down the street. After a second, she shrugged and walked down the street, humming.

-

Izzy…. Errr, Agent Double Oh Cake followed behind Duncan discreetly, stopping every so often to casually hide behind inanimate objects. The two entered a school and she blended into the crowd of students while still tailing Duncan. Courtney also entered the school, still humming. Eventually, the three made their way into the same classroom where Duncan and Agent Double Oh Cake both slumped in a seat.

"Oh my gosh, hi Courtney!" Bridgette squealed, waving Courtney over to her seat.

"Hey guys," Courtney said.

"Yeah, hey, Court," Gwen said distractedly. She painstakingly drew a few more lines in her sketchbook.

"Court, we should totally have another sleepover this weekend!" Bridgette yelled. "We could go surfing!"

"Or we could watch a movie this time," Gwen commented.

"No way," Courtney argued. "There's no way I'm watching a movie with you, Gwen. Your taste in movies is absolutely _horrid_."

Gwen's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong with horror and gore movies?"

"They're gross, for one," Bridgette pointed out.

"I'm with her on this one," Courtney agreed.

"Well the, what do _you _want to do, Courtney?" Gwen asked, slightly annoyed.

"Errr," Courtney said, slightly unsure. "Actually, I need some help with my campaign posters again this year. I told you guys that I was running for Junior-"

"Class president," Bridgette and Gwen chorused in unison.

"Only a million times," Bridgette told her good-naturedly.

"Personally, I don't really want to do that again this year," Gwen said. "Why don't you force someone to do it for you this year?"

"Maybe," Courtney said thoughtfully.

"Getting back to the point," Bridgette said. "Why don't we surf?"

"You know we don't know how to surf!" Courtney said, exasperated.

"But I'd love to teach you."

"Instead, why don't we watch a movie, like I said," Gwen said.

"No," Bridgette and Courtney said together, slightly annoyed.

"I just remembered!" Courtney announced. Bridgette and Gwen stared at her apprehensively. "We've got a bit test next Monday! Why don't we have a study sleepover?"

"No, Court," Gwen said flatly. "I still think we should watch a movie."

"And I think we should surf!" Bridgette argued.

"We should study!" Courtney said authoritatively.

"Surf!"

"Movie!"

"Study!"

"Movie!"

"Study!"

"Surf!"

"You know, we don't really have much in common," Courtney observed quietly.

A certain blonde someone covered Bridgette's eyes with his hand. "Guess who?"

"Geoff!" Bridgette cried. She jumped up and hugged him as if she hadn't seen him in years, interrupting the girls' argument. After that, they started sucking face, as usual.

_You're beautiful_

_You're beautiful_

_You're beautiful _

_It's true_

_I saw your face in a crowded place_

_And I don't know what to do_

(You're Beautiful – James Blunt)

"Awwww, thanks Trent," Gwen told her troubadour boyfriend.

Courtney sighed. "I kind of wish I had a boyfriend."

"Really?" Gwen said.

"Oh, I said that out loud," Courtney muttered.

Gwen giggled. "You're so silly Court!"

Izzy looked up sharply. "We _must _be in an alternate dimension. I just heard Gwen giggle. It was…. _Girly_," she said.

"We should find you a boyfriend," Gwen said. Trent nodded in agreement and started to strum on his guitar as the bell rang.

_You need a man around here_

_You can't do it all by yourself_

_To me it's painfully clear-_

(You Need A Man Around Here – Brad Paisley)

"Trent, if you haven't noticed, the bell has rung," the teacher, who happened to be someone Izzy…. Agent Double Oh Cake, would prefer to not have seen, interrupted them. "So you can stop now." Trent sat down quickly next to Gwen. "Roll call. You know the drill. Gwendolyn Adams?"

"Here."

"Bridgette Brown?"

"Here."

"Trent Burns?"

_Here I stand_

_Here I stand_

_Look around around around-_

(Now I'm Here – Queen)

"Thank you very much Mr. Burns. Duncan Calpone?" There was no answer, as Duncan was staring off into space, oblivious. "Mr. Calpone, are you with us today?"

Duncan blinked and knocked himself out of his reverie. "Sorry, Teach. I'm alive."

"Please do not call me 'teach.' You may call me Mr. McClean or sir, got that?"

"Whatever you say, sir," Duncan said mockingly. Courtney glared at him with an expression of pure hate and he smirked at her.

"Good. Isabel Dunhill?"

Agent Double Oh Cake crossed her arms and pouted. _"If they decided to make me part of this dimension and mess up my last name, why couldn't they have made my first name something cooler?" _

"Isabel?"

"Agent DOC to _you _mister!" Izzy yelled, angry that she had been rudely interrupted from her thoughts.

Chris blinked a few times, slightly taken aback by her disproportionate response to him calling her name. "O-okay." He continued with the roll call and the rest of it went uneventfully. Actually, the rest of the period was uneventful, so Agent Double Oh Cake fell asleep.

-

Agent Double Oh Cake opened her eyes to find that she was in different place than she fell asleep. Namely, in the bushes of the street Duncan and Courtney lived on. "Oh my god!" she yelled. "People picked me up while I was asleep and moved me! Wait, no, Agent Double Oh Cake, think logically. Maybe I was abducted by alien life forms or… I've got it! This dimension revolves around Courtney and Duncan, so only the place that exists is where they are! I'm so smart."

Courtney and Duncan walked in front of her, thus proving her theory in her mind. (Of course, she's right, because the author wishes it so.)

"Shut up Neanderthal," Courtney snapped. "I'm not interested."

"Geez," Duncan grumbled. "Maybe you should get surgery for that pole up your butt."

"I do _not _have a pole up my butt," Courtney protested.

"You _are _uptight."

"I am _not_!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"AM NOT!"

"Whoa, calm down, Princess."

"Don't call me that demeaning nickname! If you-"

Courtney's rant was abruptly ended by Duncan's lips crashing against hers. She leaned into the kiss for a second but abruptly jumped backwards. Then, she slapped him.

"What the hell?" Duncan cursed, holding his red cheek.

"Wait just a second," Agent Double Oh Cake yelled, jumping out in front of them. She struck a pose, with one hand on her hips and a finger pointing towards the other two. "Can you guys hurry this up?"

"Huh?" Duncan said coherently.

"Well, we all know how this is going to end," Agent Double Oh Cake explained. "Actually, we know what's going to happen in the middle too. These stories always happen in a certain order. First, you guys meet and Courtney thinks you're hot. She also doesn't like you because you're a delinquent. Then you follow her around for a while and annoy her. She goes into denial for a few chapters. Finally, she admits that she loves you and you irrevocably descend into: 'I wuv you!' and 'I wuv you more!'"

Courtney and Duncan stared at her uncomprehendingly. "What?" Courtney finally managed to get out.

"So, Agent Double Oh Cake is hoping that the world will dissolve once you two have gotten together, so she guesses we have to stage the end of the story," Agent Double Oh Cake mused. "Why don't the two of you pretend you love each other and kiss dramatically? Like in the rain, or before Duncan's leaving town, or right before Courtney's about to die!"

"No," Duncan said flatly.

"Yeah, don't get us involved in your crazy delusions," Courtney said.

"You should do it," Agent Double Oh Cake said. She smiled mysteriously. "Do not question my methods, foolish one." A shudder went through the ground below them and the three struggled to keep their balance.

"What's going on?" Courtney asked.

"Ah, Agent Double Oh Cake has disrupted the natural flow of the dimension too much. She's pretty sure it's collapsing." Agent Double Oh Cake shrugged. "Oh well. Hope we get out alive."

"You _are _crazy," Duncan said incredulously.

"Didn't figure that out earlier, braniac?" Courtney said sarcastically.

The world jerked abruptly and everything went black.

* * *

A/N: No, it's not really that funny. I don't think I did a very good job on this chapter. I couldn't think of enough material for making fun of. I spent a bit of time on the fact that Courtney, Gwen, and Bridgette have almost nothing in common and had Trent sing. Other than that, there wasn't much.

By the way, did anyone catch the reference at the beginning?

"Did aliens kidnap my brains to use as mass produced food for zombies? Oh no! Call the plants!"

- Izzy

I've been playing the game Plants vs. Zombies for a while because I don't have any internet at home. Sadly, my computer's broken for good. Grrr...... Anyway, I got a new one for Christmas, but who knows when that will be up and running.

**If anyone wants to request a chapter, please do so! I'm not going to write otherwise. Give me a topic and I'll write it if I can. **


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